A time comes in every person's life when they tune into an award show just to find that they don't recognize half of the stars walking across their screen. Last night, after turning on the MTV Video Music Awards, ready for a night of music and fashion, I realized that moment was happening to me.
Back in my day, after walking down to the corner shoppe to buy a soda pop and sweets for a quarter, I'd be able to turn on my TV and know I was in for a good night of dramatic performances and even more dramatic star interactions...
While it's in my opinion that the pop culture aspect of the music industry is currently in its flop era, I've gathered the highlights from last night's show based on artists I know/care about because I'm a woman of the people. Olivia Rodrigo
Bringing back early '2000s fashion with a neon pink gown and butterfly earrings, Olivia Rodrigo was the only person well-dressed at the show last night. (Yes, I am going on the record to say that. There is no excuse for a celebrity with access to a stylist to show up to an event dressed like they just raided the sale bin at Forever 21.)
In keeping with the early '2000s trend, she performed her pop-punk hit, "good 4 u," in her first-ever appearance at the VMAs: As for the awards, Olivia took home the Moonman for:
A moment I appreciated is her reaction to meeting J.Lo (who I swear was just in Venice with Ben Affleck ten minutes ago) because, well, same:
Justin Bieber
In his first VMAs in six years, Bustin Jieber decided to pull an Adam Sandler and show up in sweatpants and a hoodie (at least he paired it with an oversized blazer, as is the current trend.)
He performed the summer hit, "STAY" with The Kid Laroi, whom I do not know, as well as the song "Ghost," which I also do not know: Justin somehow took home the award for "Artist of the Year," but I can understand his win for "Best Pop" (along with artists Daniel Caesar and Giveon) for the song "Peaches," as it is a bop in its own right. I also had to share this clip of Justin once again seemingly not wanting anything to do with his wife, Hailey Bieber, because I'm starting to believe the FBI TikToks that something is up with this couple. (I love how the VMAs account is like "look how cute" when Justin is clearly like "do not touch me"):
Kacey Musgraves
I love Kacey Musgraves, I do - but this look is just not it for me; she looks like a Who from Whoville at a New Year's Eve party.
Luckily, she has the talent to back herself up. In her first-ever time on the VMAs stage, she gave a fiery performance of her new song, "star-crossed": She wasn't nominated for any awards this year (considering her new album, "star-crossed," just dropped like five seconds ago), but I have no doubt that the film she created to go along with the album will get the recognition it deserves at next year's show (and if it doesn't, then they will be hearing from my lawyers.) Megan Fox & Machine Gun Kelly / Kourtney Kardashian & Travis Barker
In my opinion, these two couples are exactly the same if you just blur your eyes, so it's only natural that they've become each other's go-to for double-date-night.
Machine Gun Kelly and Travis Barker teamed up to perform a song called "papercuts," which I did not watch and have no interest in. However, I was interested to see Megan Fox and Kourtney Kardashian introduce their boyfriends as their "future baby daddies," because I cannot imagine wanting to set Scott Disick off any further
Notable Mentions
Doja Cat, whose music I know only because I spend too much time on TikTok, hosted the show and took home the award for "Best Collaboration" (along with SZA) for their song "Kiss Me More."
Shawn Mendes and Camila Cabello walked the red carpet separately, which is odd considering it seems like they always want to remind us that they're a couple. They also performed separately, clearly hearing our pleas to stop performing "Señorita" at every chance they get.
Ed Sheeran wore a suit possibly for the first time ever, but failed to remember that Justin Bieber already wore a similar look to the Met Gala in 2015. (E! cancelled "Fashion Police" years ago and I have been doing the work ever since.)
And finally, Alicia Keys performed "Empire State of Mind" to remind us all that she's the Queen of New York (when Beyoncé is too booked and busy to fulfill the role.)
While the night was certainly filled with moments that lit up social media, I am simply longing for a time when music artists would show up ready to make the night all about themselves, a trait I have the utmost respect for it.
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