Like Emily once said, Bonjour. And, like Joey from "Friends" once said, *unintelligible French*... Netflix announced today that their original show, "Emily In Paris", has been renewed for a third and fourth season, and is set to resume filming in Europe sometime this spring/summer. And, as I am prone to do, I immediately found a way to make this news about me. As I watched this show, seeing Lily Collins get to wear sometimes-cute-sometimes-frightening designer ensembles while taking in the culture of a foreign city and dating tall men with accents (no uggos allowed on set, apparently), it was brought to my immediate attention that I should have such a show of my own. It is, after all, what the fans* want. *Me But, you, the reader, might say - Sam, you have no acting experience. And to that, I would say, my critically-acclaimed middle school production of "High School Musical" begs to differ. But, you, the reader, again might say - ok, but Sam, you don't speak a foreign language. And to that, I would say, my eight years of Italian classes and basic comprehension would tell you, va Napoli (a classic Italian insult that you can Google yourself.) And once more for good measure, you, the endlessly inquisitive reader might say, but Sam - how on Earth do you expect Netflix to care enough to give you your own show? And to that, I will say, I have no idea and did not think that far enough ahead. But! I have come prepared with ideas to pitch, and since Netflix seems to be in the position to greenlight multiple seasons of one show at one time, there's no reason why at least one of these shouldn't be coming soon to a TV near you: "Sam In Sicily" Watch as my character, an aspiring photojournalist, embarks on a coming-of-age tale, all the while taking in the sights and cuisine of the country I'd probably be living in right now if sea travel was never embarked upon. Hopefully, I'll get a really good tan and learn how to make wine, but I promise not to include a grape-stomping scene; no one ever enjoys them, and I don't know why Hollywood keeps making them. "Sam In Florence" I'm pitching another Italian location because, if I'm being honest, it's my dream to travel there on someone else's dime (looking at you, Netflix.) While the majority of this show will be my character eating pizza, pasta, and pastries (the three food groups) and drinking cappuccinos under the shadows of Il Duomo, I will find a way to throw in some plot. How about I work as a museum curator but I'm so focused on my career that I've forgotten how to love? A classic, I know. "Sam In London" Using the British accent I've developed spending my formative years as a One Direction fan and watching endless episodes of "The Great British Baking Show", my character will attempt to have it all: a successful editorial career, a tight-knit group of friends who hang out exclusively at their local pub, and a grasp on reality. Sounds proper cheeky, no? "Sam In Edinburgh" From the people who brought you "Normal People" and "Conversations with Friends", this show will have everything, but mostly (hopefully) Sally Rooney as its writer, considering that's what I'm basing this entire pitch on. My character, resigned to her emotions and mundane life working in a bookshop, will see her life turned around when she is accepted to a prestigious college, one that is notoriously attended by notable and elite members of society. Basically, it's "Gossip Girl" but more depressing and they all have accents. "Sam In Amsterdam" Based on the rhyme alone, this show is already off to a good start. Watch as my character, a struggling artist, throws herself into the culture: riding bicycles, going to museums, pretending to smoke weed but not actually doing it because, you know, I don't judge, but it's just not for me. I'd prefer to film this one in the fall to fit my European aesthetic, but I would settle for the spring. "Sam In Santorini" Again, the alliteration here is enough to buy this show in the room. While I don't like eating olives or having to walk up a lot of steps, I could make this one work - if only to make sure I share the story of my main character who leaves her fiancé at the alter and goes on their honeymoon alone, embarking on a journey of independence, adventure and self-discovery. It's like a millenial "Eat, Pray, Love" but different because I haven't seen that movie. "Sam In Switzerland" And finally: I know you've all been waiting for a holiday-themed rom-com pitch, so here it is. While my main character might run a bakery, she's anything but sweet (or vegan or gluten-free - just let dessert be dessert, people!) When she's whisked away on business to a small town seemingly built on the idea of Christmas, she begrudgingly discovers there's more to life than her work - like a ~romance~ with the local Lukes Danes archetype, duh! And that brings me to the end of my pitches! Well, for the time being, at least. So, make sure to let Netflix know which of these shows you'd most want to watch - after all, I'm trying to build a career here, people.
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