I Watched The Golden Globes And I Think We Can All Agree That Award Shows Are Too Long: A Recap1/6/2020 The 77th Annual Golden Globes were last night, and considering I have nothing better to do on a Sunday night than spend three hours (plus an additional two hours for the red carpet) watching an award show, I decided to write a recap for all of you. Here are my highlights of the night: 1. Bill Hader and Rachel Bilson confirming they're a couple People began speculating about this potential couple after they were spotted together in Bill Hader's hometown over the holidays, so naturally people were freaking out when they decided to confirm their relationship by walking the red carpet together. Even though it's an odd pair, they're both cool people so good for them; I give them my blessing, which I'm sure they've been patiently waiting for. 2. Beyoncé appearing out of thin air Beyoncé skipped the red carpet and showed up late to the award ceremony because she is Beyoncé and can do that if she so pleases, and no one watching at home even knew she was there until she and Jay-Z were randomly shown on camera. Despite not winning Best Original Song, Motion Picture for "Spirit" from The Lion King, she still made headlines for not joining the standing ovation for Joaquin Phoenix when he won Best Actor, Motion Picture Drama even though that is a ridiculous thing to write a news story about. 3. Amy Poehler and Taylor Swift presenting together Amy and Taylor are two of my favorite people in Hollywood, so seeing them onstage together was just a great moment for me even if the scripted banter still made me cringe. 4. Ansel Elgort wearing glitter eye shadow Whether Ansel Elgort is trying to get cast in the second season of Euphoria or he knows that men being comfortable enough in their own masculinity to go beyond traditional fashion and beauty trends is all the rage, his decision to slick back his hair and rock glitter eye shadow was a bold choice that I am rewarding. 5. Tom Hanks making me cry While accepting the Cecil B. deMille award for his impact on the film industry, Tom Hanks became emotional as he thanked his family and reflected on his decades-long career. It goes without saying (but I'm going to say it) that everyone loves Tom Hanks and his movies; and if you don't agree with this, then you need to stop reading this blog and go consult a doctor. I had chills during his entire speech, and by the end of it I may or may not have shed (more than) one tear. HE'S AN AMERICAN TREASURE, WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM ME. 6. Michelle Williams using her acceptance speech to call attention to a women's right to choose After her moving speech about inequality in the workplace at the Emmy Awards in the fall, Michelle Williams used her voice and her platform this time to defend a women's right to choose. I would recommend watching the speech in its entirety here, but to summarize, she said that she wouldn't be in the position she's in today without a women's right to choose and she called for all women to vote in their best interests because it's what men have been doing forever. I was cheering her on from home, and when the camera cut to her best friend, Busy Phillips, getting emotional in the crowd I got emotional, too. 7. Brad Pitt practicing his stand-up comedy While accepting the award for Best Performance by an Actor in a Supporting Role in Any Motion Picture (which is an extremely long title for an award), Brad Pitt delivered some great dad jokes to the crowd. He started his speech by thanking co-star and friend Leonardo DiCaprio (who, according to Brad, we are now referring to as LDC) and then made a Titanic joke by saying he would have shared the raft with him (it was a door, Brad, get your facts right!) He also made a joke about dating rumors, saying he couldn't bring his mom to the event because he's rumored to be dating any women he's photographed with (shoutout to whoever made the decision to show Jennifer Aniston's reaction to that joke - she laughed, everything is fine!) Well! There you have it. Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go watch all of the films and television shows that were honored last night because I had no idea what was going on.
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